Millennium’s advice for collecting clocks

Clocks have fascinated me for as long as I can remember. From the time I was 6 or 7 years old, I dreamed of someday living in a house filled with as many different clocks as I could find.

In 2008, I decided to make that childhood dream a reality. I took $10 to the nearest Meijer store and purchased the two cheapest clocks they had for sale: a small black clock and a small white clock. I mounted them on an otherwise blank wall of my bedroom, leaving plenty of room for my collection to expand.

16 years later, now living on my own, I have over 40 clocks, covering every wall and shelf in my apartment.

If you share my bizarre obsession with timepieces—or you think having lots of clocks just looks cool—it’s actually quite easy to start casually collecting clocks yourself. Today, I’d like to share some advice based on my experiences over my past 16 years of clock collecting.

The primary focus of this article will be on wall clocks, as they make up the majority of my collection, but most of the advice laid out here is applicable to desk clocks and small alarm clocks as well.

How to get clocks

As I mentioned above, my collection began with two small clocks purchased at my local Meijer store. Buying new from a retail store is perhaps the most obvious way to acquire clocks, and they tend to be relatively cheap, especially at discount stores like Roses or Big Lots.

But it’s not the only way, and it’s often not the most interesting way. Thrift stores may not have significantly lower prices than buying clocks new, but they often have a more eclectic selection. You may find clocks at thrift shops that would be difficult to buy new—for example, this classroom clock I found at a Goodwill store in Gahanna, Ohio.

It may surprise you to learn, however, that I’ve purchased less than half of my clocks myself.

Once your friends and family learn you collect clocks, expect to be given several clocks. Sometimes your friends may intentionally purchase clocks for you as a gift. “I saw this really cute clock at the store and immediately thought of you!” Other times they’ll simply find disused clocks lying around in their closet or storage room and decide you might as well have them.

I’ve actually reached the point where I am now actively turning down unsolicited offers of “found” clocks. I simply don’t have any more wall space!

Always spring for alkaline batteries

The more clocks you have, the more batteries you will need.

You will almost certainly find yourself purchasing batteries in large quantities. 24-packs of AA cells are your friend, but they can be expensive. You may be tempted to save a couple bucks by buying the cheaper “heavy duty” batteries.

Don’t.

“Heavy duty” is a 1970s marketing term for zinc chloride batteries, a battery chemistry that was common before alkaline batteries were widely available. Not only do they have a shorter service life, but they are extremely prone to leaking if they’re left in a device once they’ve been drained.

Of course, there are ways to reduce the risk of battery leakage.

Remove old batteries promptly

Battery leakage can ruin a casual clock collector’s day. At best, it’s a toxic mess that needs to be scrubbed away before the battery can be replaced with a fresh one and the clock can start running again. At worst, the battery contacts will have corroded away, rendering the clock inoperable.

Batteries are most prone to leaking when they’re left in the clock well after they’re drained. The best way to prevent battery leakage and the damage it causes is to remove exhausted batteries as quickly as possible. Do a quick “spot check” every couple weeks to see which of your clocks have stopped running. Even if you don’t have a fresh replacement battery on hand, remove the dead one—it will save you a headache in the long term.

What matters is what’s on the outside

The exterior and condition of the clock is far more important than the clockwork itself. If you find an in interesting or aesthetically appealing clock, but find it doesn’t run, don’t throw it out.

Almost every wall clock manufactured in the past 50 years uses the same interchangeable quartz movement.

Because these quartz movements are so widely produced, they cost next to nothing to buy, even for the end consumer. A quick search of AliExpress reveals several sellers offering these quartz clock movements for about $1. Most listings even include a set of clock hands, should you find yourself needing to replace those as well.

The replacement process is relatively simple. I may draft a more detailed tutorial in the future, but essentially, the most difficult step tends to be removing the front glass, as the exact construction varies widely from one clock to another. Once you have access to the clock face, the movement is usually held in place simply by a single nut beneath the hands, making it easy to swap.

A stopped clock is right twice a day

What if you have a clock you love the look of, but it doesn’t run, and you’re not confident in your ability to repair it yourself?

Put it up anyway!

While I do enjoy restoring broken clocks to working condition, it does take a little bit of time and planning. For years, I’ve been padding out my collection with nonfunctional clocks, and to date, nobody has noticed unless I’ve pointed it out. Most people are simply not that observant: if they enter a room with a dozen clocks ticking away, they’re not going to notice that one or two of them aren’t running.

Conclusion

I’m well aware that collecting clocks on the scale I do is a fairly niche hobby. Unless you aspire to be the next Doc Brown or the next Flavor Flav, you probably think of a collection like this more as something your quirky friend does than as something you’d like to pursue yourself.

But I hope nonetheless that you’ve enjoyed this glimpse into the metaphorical clockwork of my eccentricity. Amassing a large collection of clocks is fairy simple and straightforward, but it means a lot to me. It’s the culmination of one of my earliest autistic special interests.

And that makes it timeless.